The very core of your writing whilst sounding agreeable at first, did not work very well with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I however have a problem with your leaps in logic and one might do nicely to fill in those gaps. If you can accomplish that, I could certainly end up being amazed.
Your comment is awaiting moderation.
The very core of your writing whilst sounding agreeable at first, did not work very well with me after some time. Somewhere throughout the sentences you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I however have a problem with your leaps in logic and one might do nicely to fill in those gaps. If you can accomplish that, I could certainly end up being amazed.